Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
