Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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