Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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