what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I got her a Nickelback box set.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
