I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize