I think I died a long time ago.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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