just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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