i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
