My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
