UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
