I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
