apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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