I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The power of my boobs compel you
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