I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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