While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
