everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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