i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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