I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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