I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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