i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
