All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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