She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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