No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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