I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize