I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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