I'm sorry my penis didn't work
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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