Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize