I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize