Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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