This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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