I was born with a shot glass in my hand
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Damn victory sex feels great
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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