i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
