we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
