what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
