be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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