Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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