U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
