he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
