Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
