I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize