is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
