rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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