Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
