Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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