East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
