I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
