i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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