Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
