Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
