no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im part way to drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
