I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Randomize
