we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
