Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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