Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
