my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize