dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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