The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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