I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
