It's Friday. Sex?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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