thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
