yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
