Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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