I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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