I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize