Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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